[Home] [Dovetonsils Timeline]

Note to New Visitors: all dates on this page are rendered in the calendration system described by Anselm in his epic poem, "Epoch Poem" (1987). The system described in verse is an 'Escher-esque cascade where years, months, days, hours, minutes, and other intervals of time are distilled to their essential experiential quanta and re-interlaced using an algorithm developed by NASA for the transmission of space imagery from interplanetary probes.'

Daily Poem of the Day for Today
(Ninth of Tetrarch, Year 12, Epoch of Ephemerama)

Advice to the Computer Science Student from God (from Forbidding Doors, 1995)
No Admission
Without Permission
Of Chief Electrician

Did You Know He Said That?

If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is a hangover.

Anselm Dovetonsils

Who is Anselm Dovetonsils?

A leading New Narrator has acclaimed him as "a sextant, a nexus; a sexus, a Lexus," and New Paintbrusher Jack Karayan agrees: "A noodle, a doodle, a fine and fluffy poodle." Named one of the 100 best young poets of the decade in the undated issue of the Paris Review of Poetry and Business that came out last year, the reclusive Doevetonsils has remained an enigma since he surged onto the literary scene with great prominence in the waning years of the last century.

This website is dedicated to collecting information about Dovetonsils sightings, links to his poetry and other works as they become available, and sharing the word about his words.

Known Pictures of This Unknown Genius

There are only three pictures that have been verified as being truly of the "Last Mind of His Generation", as the New Yorker once called him.


"Professor Dovetonsils as a Manticore" was painted by a student in a drawing class at Evergreen State College during the brief semester that Anselm taught there before leaving amid controversy. The camera-shy Dovetonsils apparently did not know he was the model for the student's assignment, which was to draw an interesting character's head on the body of a mythical beast.


This photo was left behind by Dovetonsils when he was evicted from an apartment in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in Year 17, Yellow Pig Period (mid-1989), and apparently shows him with two identified companions riding the rails sometime in the late years of the 1970s (Anselm Time: Years 42-49 of the Ticonderoga Eon). The detail is believed to be Dovetonsils.


Finally, this photo arrived in the mailbox of the Editor of the blog Pseudopodium.org, postmarked Lima, Peru, in 2003 (Anselm Time: Minutes Over Tokyo, Adam 12-Seacaucus Seven), in a plain envelope. On the back was written, "Having a Great Time on Lake Titicaca! Love, Anselm," the signature of which was later verified by handwriting experts as belonging to Dovetonsils. Why the reclusive master chose to send this photo is unclear.

Somewhat more controversial is the photo we use on the masthead for this web page, which was taken from an LAPD booking shot in 1994 (Anselm Time: The Seventh Year, Episode Twelve). The man depicted was arrested for Suspicion, but was released when the police determined it was a case of mistaken identity. The name supplied on the booking sheet, however, was Anselm Dovetonsils, and the address given was in care of his publisher. Once released, the man disappeared, and by the time Dovetonsils watchers had gotten wind of the incident he was long gone.

Latest News:

Eleventh of Never, Year 131, Age of Reason
 Dovetonsils Sighting?
Fan club member Brendan Burger emailed in with yet another alleged Donvetonsils sighting, this time in Prague, taken from a translated police report:

A lord dressed himself in black appeared at coffee Prague II approximately 2330 hours previous Tuesday and left falls according to reports its trousers, which a micronesische reveals flag, and recited lines in English that the coffee patterns identified themselves later such as or "Tsunami, Tsunami, so that me" or "See continues Tsunami". Leaving trousers there, he escaped the scene.
We have been able to verify the veracity of the police report thanks to several friends from Bratislava who used some expiring Eurail passes to journey to Prague and check the original police files. Unfortunately, we here at the website suspect that while the incident did occur, it was most likely a spoof or hommage by one of the increasing numbers of Dovetonsils immitators reported in recent months.

Second of Seconds, Year 2, Time Beyond Reckoning
 Spielberg Seeks Film Rights to Dovetonsils Work
The Los Angeles law firm of Barry, Rawlings, and Cianci, noted for its previous work in representation of legally dead poets without heirs, has been in contact with Dreamworks SKG concerning Director Stephen Spielberg's interest in optioning the film rights to Dovetonsils' Slim Volume of Poems and Poetry, according to Daily Variety. We'll post more information as it becomes available.

First Time Ever, Blink 182, Time Beyond Reckoning
 New Volume Rumoured in Publication
Anselm's publisher is reportedly considering releasing a partial collection of the poems Anselm has submitted via postcard to various blogs in recent years, to be tentatively called, "From Anselm to Selma: The Alabama Slammer Years". We have no other details other than that the volume will be published "sometime during the Sixth Year of the Blue, Blue Period" in Anselm Time.

Dovetonsils Links

[Home] [Dovetonsils Timeline]